Death and the thought of dying can be very frightening for many individuals. This is a part of life that many people have a hard time with no matter what age they are. It is easy to understand why it can be even more difficult for children to deal with as well.
There are some things that parents and caregivers can do in order to help children understand death. This article will examine what some of those things are.
One of the main things that parents will want to do is avoid telling the child that the person is sleeping. Think about that for a moment. Sleep is something that is short term. However, death is long term and children will not understand that. So, comparing death to sleep is not a good idea at all. This will only make it more difficult for the child to understand what is actually taking place.
Next, it is very important for parents and caregivers to simply state the facts related to what has happened and expect the child to be very upset and to ask a lot of questions. This is totally normal and the caregivers should be willing to answer any and all questions that the child may have. Parents that do not believe they will be able to answer the child’s questions may want to plan ahead and ask someone to help them with this task. Actually, some parents may even want to ask a preacher to assist them with this task as well.
If the individual that has passed away was sick before they died the child may begin to worry that they will also die if they get sick, or become ill. This can cause a great deal of stress and anxiety for children. Therefore, parents and caregivers will need to spend a lot of time reassuring their children that they will not die just because they become sick. Many children will also begin to worry that their parents, or other loved ones, will die. Again, this can cause a lot of stress for the child. Parents need to make sure that they are keeping an eye on this stress and anxiety. If needed, the child may need to speak with a professional in order to work through their feelings. There is nothing wrong with this, and parents need to understand that sometimes this is needed to help a child get back to where they were before the death took place.
The main things that parents, and caregivers, need to remember is that children only need certain information. The information that is given should be kept short and it should be factual. Yes, it is important to tell children what they need to know in terms that they will understand. However, it is important not to confuse them and stating that the person is sleeping will only create confusion. Always remember that professionals can provide a great deal of support and this may be the way to go after grieving time has been given. This is especially true if the child seems to have a hard time adjusting.
Taking the time to plan for your death may not sound like a really fun idea. Actually, some people may be really bothered by it. But, there are many benefits related to completing this process. This article will examine some of the reasons why someone may want to plan. It will also discuss a few of the things that people can do in order to prepare in advance for a life conclusion that is inevitable.
When people take the time to plan for death they will be helping their family members out in the end. Planning ahead will take a large burden off of the family members that will be left behind once you are gone. This may take a large financial burden off of them. They will also be able to relax because they will not have to worry about what you may have wanted. This means that they will be able to simply work through the grieving process.
Now, if you are planning on leaving any type of inheritance for your loved ones then you may want to plan ahead for this as well. This is very important because may individuals do not realize that their loved ones may need to pay taxes on what you leave for them. In order to avoid this, it is very important to plan ahead. There are many rules and laws surrounding inheritance taxes. Therefore, when family members plan ahead, and give gifts in advance, their loved ones may not need to pay taxes on these things.
If you make the decision to plan for your death you will want to start by planning your own funeral. This can give you piece of mind as well because you know that you will have exactly what you want. You can select the location of your burial, the music that will be played and even what you will wear. Many individuals will even select their casket and the flower arrangements that they will want at the funeral home.
For many, this may sound really morbid. For others, it is simply smart planning. This is a positive way to make sure that your family will be taken care of when you pass away. The bottom line is, everyone will die. If you have the opportunity to plan in advance then you will want to do that for your family. It shows that you care about them and you want them to be well cared for when you pass on.
For a child, the loss of a beloved family member or even a beloved family pet can mean the start to the end of their naïve innocence that all things go on forever; as the guiding parent in their lives, it is your responsibility to help your child understand, cope, and move on from the loss in a healthy manner. By not doing so you are potentially opening your child up for a host of behavioral and emotional problems further on down the road.
What Do You Think
One of the most important things that you can ask your child when you are helping them to work through a loss is to ask them what their thoughts are on the topic. Whether they openly display it or not, most children are aware, on some level, of what it means to lose someone. By asking your child what he or she thinks about it you will be able to tailor your own words of comfort and wisdom to their already forming belief system.
Opening up the conversation by asking what your child thinks will also help to encourage your child to speak to you about any of their questions or the major fears that they may have. Keep your answers honest and encourage your child to ask more questions if they appear to be confused or further upset by your responses.
Don’t Bottle Things Up
Despite your drive to be the strong role model in your child’s life, you still have the need to grieve for the loss of someone who was close to you. Certainly you don’t want your children to have to fend for themselves because your grief has left you unable to leave your bed. What you do want is to have your children understand that it is okay to feel sad, you want them to understand that grieving for the loss of their loved one is a natural part of the process. If your child is allowed to grieve in a healthy manner, then he or she will be better equipped to move on and heal in a manner that is healthy.
Your child may not be old enough to fully comprehend the situation when there is a loss in the family; it is important that you make the effort to not bombard the child with information that they simply are not old enough to understand. Try to find the simplest and most effective answers to their questions in order to keep them age appropriate and on a level that won’t further confuse or upset the child.
Above all, when dealing with any situation of loss in a family, it is important that your whole family takes the time to comfort one another and ensure that every member of your family feels loved, comforted, and safe. Loss can be a very scary and very confusing topic for a child to deal with, your response as their parent will play a key role in the way in which they approach the healing and moving on process.
Losing a loved one is perhaps the hardest thing that anyone who is in love can experience; the loss not only leaves a giant hole in your life, but it affects your goals, your plans, and your direction for the future too. Well-meaning friends and family members may try to offer words of wisdom, or simply try to encourage you to start dating again by setting you up on blind dates. It is important, however, to listen to your own instincts and allow yourself to move on only when you are well and ready to do so.
Allowing Yourself To Grieve
By giving yourself the permission needed to cry, scream, feel anger and rage, you are allowing yourself to embrace the very natural feelings that accompany the loss of a loved one. If you do not accept that you will feel this way then you are very likely to either never find your way out of the black hole that grief has placed you into, or you are likely to see the grief manifest itself in other negative ways. Certainly, if you have small children, you must stand strong for them – but if you do not show them that it is okay to feel sad and that it is okay to cry then you are likely leading them down the path of potential behavior problems in the future.
The Passage Of Time
The cliché of “time heals all wounds” must not have been taking the loss of a loved one into consideration. No matter how much time has elapsed, chances are that you are always going to see, hear, and feel subtle reminders of your late partner. One of the primary key points to help yourself accept and manage these reminders is to try to focus on the warm memories that they bring with them; by focusing more on the happy memories and less on the feelings of loss, you may find that those subtle reminders bring a smile to your face instead of tears in your eyes and a pain in your heart.
There is no set time when it comes to the length of time that will be needed for you to feel that you are ready to step into the possibility of a new relationship. This is something that only you can decide.
- Do you feel ready to open your heart to a potential new love?
- Does your grief allow you the possibility of potentially sharing your bed with someone new?
It is vital that you, and only you, take the time needed to evaluate your life now and how it will be impacted by your decision to foray into the dating world again. If you have small children it may be necessary to place your focus, instead, on them and their abilities to cope with the loss in your family. Older children who have moved out of the home and have lives of their own should not be a deciding factor in your decision to start dating again – your decision to do so does not directly impact their day-to-day lives.
I like to think that everyone we meet on this Earth has a place in our life and a reason for being there. Whether they are in our presence for a brief moment or a lifetime, they make some type of impact upon us. The impression they leave upon us does not have to be monumental to be recognized. Unfortunately, often it is not until we lose someone that we realize their place in our life. Then, what do we do to feel complete again once they are gone?
We must first identify what needs the individual we lost fulfilled in us. It can be difficult to discover exactly what someone gave us, as many individuals provide us with so much. However, there is certainly something that stands out, especially when we truly feel a void when the person has passed on. The truth can be uncovered by tuning into our feelings and thoughts when our sense of loss is most prominent or by looking at what triggers us to recall the person who has died.
After finding-out what is missing, we cannot have the expectation that someone else will give us the same thing. We may meet others in our life journey that provides us with something similar, but it will never be the same. As such, we must learn to cope with our emotions about our loss, which will consequently fill that void, on our own. This can be done in a number of ways, but one seems most satisfying.
The key is to celebrate the person we lost in the spirit of what they gave to us. When we lose someone who helped us become a more independent person, then we can find peace with their loss by helping others in the same way. If an inspirational individual in our life passes-on, then we can recall their character and express it creatively. It is more important to remember who these individuals were to us than it is to try to replace them.
In order to recover from the death of someone who shaped us as a person, we must ensure that we carry-on in their way. In doing so, we not only pay tribute to them, but we also fill the void within us left by their absence. The activities we devote to them should not sadden us, but reinvigorate us through what we do in their honor. These are our celebrations of loved ones’ lives.
Caring for a loved one who is terminally ill is, quite possibly, the most difficult experience an individual will face in their lifetime. The process of death can be frightening for both the patient and you, the caretaker. As such, both individuals need to be aware of their emotional, physical, social and spiritual needs. You must be willing and able to attend to your needs, as well as your loved ones.
During this time, it is extremely important that you fulfill your physical needs in order to maintain the ability to care for your loved one. Many times, you will not feel hungry, but you must have regular meals in order to retain the strength you need to provide the necessary assistance to the patient. You will also likely lose interest in your exercise regimen. However, this is not only integral for your physical needs, but also for an emotional release. All in all, if you do not address your physical needs, you will eventually lose the ability to care for your loved one altogether.
Your emotional needs are paramount throughout this experience. It is certainly appropriate to enlist the assistance of a professional to help you process all that is going on during this heart-wrenching time. However, if you are not interested in meeting with a therapist, there are other ways to stay emotionally healthy. These include writing about your feelings, physical activity, other creative pursuits and practicing relaxation and meditation. Discussing your feelings with your friends and family members can also help you process your emotions, while meeting your social needs. It is also important to remain involved in as many of your regular activities as possible so that you do not become overwhelmed with the responsibilities of caring for your ailing loved one.
Finally, and most importantly, you must look at the situation from a spiritual perspective. Regardless of your religious affiliation or spiritual beliefs, death is strongly tied to these areas. It is greatly beneficial for you and your loved one to address your spiritual or religious needs together. In witnessing your loved one find peace with their impending death, you may also do so.
Caring for a terminally ill loved one is a task that no one ever wants to take on. However, when this occurs, the maintenance of your own overall health is very important to your ability to nurse your loved one. You can utilize your knowledge of the importance of addressing your physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs to assist your loved one in these areas, as well. Take the time to care for yourself, because it is only then that you can truly take care of your loved one.