Those of us who find ourselves in lengthy relationships also tend to find ourselves in somewhat of a “rut”. We forget the times when we could not wait to see our partner, relished those little things like walks in the park and found joy in just looking into one another’s eyes. It is these seemingly menial things that led us to where we are today, but we too often neglect to keep such things alive in our relationship.
It is important to recognize the small things that keep our interest, and our love, focused on our partner. If we lose sight of these minute, yet meaningful, aspects of our relationship, we may find ourselves separated further than ever before. Keeping the spark in our relationships is not a science, but a matter of listening to our hearts. There are quite a few tactics for maintaining that fiery passion, but a few of these are essential to a happy, healthy bond.
It’s no secret that people change over time, no matter how self-aware and secure they may be. So, it is our job as life partners to be attuned to the transformations our partners are going through. It is also our job as spouses to notice when our partner’s attitude or behavior changes. This is a time when we must talk to our partner about what brought-about the difference. We should maintain on-going communication and give one another opportunities to talk about the things that are going on in our lives. Talking is invaluable to a relationship, whether it is a serious discussion or seemingly meaningless chatter.
Another important element in maintaining relationship stability is setting-aside time to be together. With the hectic lives we all live, between our jobs, our children and community activities, we sometimes neglect one another. We must schedule a time, at least once a week, to spend solely as a couple. It is important to make this “alone time” for ourselves, without the distractions of our children or other family members. Whether it is a meal or a movie, it needs to be a period of togetherness.
Taking this one-on-one time another step further, it is also integral that couples make it a priority to “get away from it all” every once in a while. At least yearly, partners need to leave the stress of the bills, soccer practices and the PTA behind for a little get-away. It does not have to be a spectacular vacation in order to be a valuable experience. A weekend camping trip or one night at a bed and breakfast can work wonders for a relationship.
In order to avoid stagnancy in a relationship, we must recall the things that brought us together in the past. Remembering how much it meant to our partner the time we set-up a picnic lunch and recreating that day can bring back the passion of days gone by. Being in-tune with one another, communicating and working together to keep the love as fresh as the day we came together is an exceptional thing, yet not difficult.