There is little more that can strike fear into the heart of someone getting married than having to deal with difficult in-laws. When it comes to the relationships surrounding our in-laws, jokes and eye rolls abound! However, it makes little sense to not only foster the stereotypical relationship difficulties but to also ignore the friction that the relationship difficulties can cause within a family. Friction within a family can rapidly turn into a rift; a rift is something that no one wants in their family.
It may seem clichéd, but try to think of your family as a garden that requires tending in order to be successful. Without weeding, feeding, watering, and other care your garden will be rapidly overrun with weeds, and harmful bugs. Your gardening efforts will ultimately fail without the correct care and concern.
The same holds true for your family and your extended family: without the correct levels of care, concern, and effort, your family will fall apart.
Find Common Ground
One of the key methods of building a solid relationship with your in-laws is to take the time to find that common ground between you before you walk down the aisle with their son or daughter. Talk to your partner to find out what things that you may have in common with his mother or his father. Find out from your partner if her mother or her father enjoys a hobby that you have always been interested in branching out into.
By seeking out common ground with your in-laws you are, in effect, building the foundation upon which your relationship with them will be built.
Make The Effort
While it does certainly happen to some, you simply cannot expect your relationship with your in-laws to be a complete love-at-first-sight love fest. Chances are that you are going to need to take the time and make the effort to build a solid relationship with them before you and your partner take the steps to tie the knot.
If you find that your in-laws seem particularly resistant to getting to know you and also seem resistant to making the effort to build a relationship with you, then it is very important that you take the time to find out why they have concern with you and your involvement with their family member. By addressing their concerns now, before you get married, you will be able to move forward with your wedding with the confidence and knowledge that both of your families are completely supportive.
Should you find that, despite your best efforts, conflicts still arise between you and your in-laws it is vital that you address the conflicts as soon as is possible and that you work towards finding a resolution for all involved parties.
If need be schedule a dinner with your in-laws, one that your partner will attend as a show of support for you, and work together in a respectful adult manner to find the best resolution for the conflicts that have arisen.
In order to ensure that your marriage starts out on the best possible footing, taking the time to cultivate a solid, loving, and respectful relationship with your in-laws is a key part of the process of ensuring a happy and successful marriage.