Individuals may find themselves having relationship difficulties from time to time. This is something that is very common among couples and it is not something that should be taken lightly. Couples that continue to wrestle with the same issues over and over again are continually harming their relationship. Therefore, these couples may want to engage in couples counseling in order to improve their relationship. This article will explore some of the benefits related to this decision.
First and foremost, this couple will most likely learn how to communicate more effectively with one another. Many times both individuals have something that they want to say but they are not sure how to say it. They may be trying to communicate something very important to the other person but it simply comes out wrong. The other person may take something that was stated the wrong way. If you have ever been in a relationship like this then you know that it can become a vicious cycle and nothing ever seems to be resolved. Therefore, working in a therapeutic setting may be the best way to learn effective communication skills.
Secondly, when couples engage in therapy they may be able to work together towards a common goal. There may be times when both individuals want the same things they are just unsure about what they need to do in order to reach this goal. Both people may have different ideas. When they fight over the solutions they are simply creating barriers that introduce conflict. Working with a therapist may be the best way to learn effective problem solving. The couple will learn to work together, rather than working against each other.
While there are many benefits to couples counseling, one of the main benefits is that the couples will learn how to appreciate and love one another again. We often find ourselves engaging in the everyday activities of our everyday lives. This means that we forget about our partner. Many couples end up feeling unloved and unappreciated. When the couples learn how to reconnect and spend time together, they end up rekindling the love that they once had for each other. They learn about what the other person may be thinking, or feeling, and they learn effective ways to work through these feelings.
Couples therapy should not be avoided if partners find themselves struggling each day. There are plenty of therapists that are trained and willing to help couples work through their issues so that they can have a positive relationship. It is very important to remember why you fell in love with the person in the first place so that you are motivated to get help. Just do not wait until it is to late if you want to save your relationship.
A wonderful new relationship can spark feelings of excitement, joy, and pure happiness; however, if you are already planning your wedding within six months of your first date then you may need to stop and take the time to evaluate whether or not your relationship is hurtling along too rapidly. Moving too fast or too slow in a relationship can open your relationship up for serious problems in the future.
Why Should We Slow Down?
In any romantic relationship it is important to make sure that your relationship is founded on a solid platform of friendship, honesty, and trust. While it is certainly possible to establish a sturdy long-lasting relationship within a few short months, it is generally a good rule of thumb to take your time to build your friendship and establish your honesty and trust levels with your partner.
On the flip side, if your relationship is moving too slow you run the risk of developing a relationship rut before you and your partner have had the opportunity to really get to know one another.
Time Apart Can Be Healthy
In the early stages of a relationship it can be all too tempting to spend as much time as possible with your partner. However, it can also be a major contributing factor towards the two of you losing sight of your individuality as well as distancing yourselves from your family and friends who may be concerned about you.
If thinking about spending time apart from your partner makes you feel uneasy then you should definitely take the time to consider if this is in fact a healthy relationship. A large part of being in a successful relationship is the ability to trust your partner during the times that you are apart, and to allow yourself to feel settled while apart from your partner.
Discussing The Future
A reliable method of gauging the pace of your relationship is to pay heed to the way that you and your partner discuss your future. Have you been dating for three months and are already living together? Are you discussing marriage and having children?
Rushing in to major life-changing events can prove to be disastrous, especially if you do plan on having children together.
Take the time to find out from each other what your individual plans for your futures are. How many of your partner’s plans intersect with your own?
– Do you want to travel to an exotic location before settling down, while your partner hates the idea of leaving your city?
– Do you plan on going back to school, while your partner thinks that you both need to simply find work so that you can save for a house and babies?
The Decision Making Process
Do you find yourself incapable of making a decision without involving the opinion of your partner? Or do you find your partner stepping in and making decisions regarding your future for you? The ability to stand up on your own two feet and make decisions for yourself as a mature adult, without the need to seek approval from your partner, is a vital part of being a healthy and well adjusted person. In a relationship that may be moving too fast you may find yourself losing more of your independence and your individuality until you ultimately no longer recognize yourself.
Slow things down, let your relationship develop at a steady and constant pace, don’t rush into making those life-changing decisions that could leave you and your partner shell shocked and overwhelmed if your relationship falls apart in the future.
The couples’ relationship can be strengthened through a variety of strategies. There is no single method for fortifying that bond, but a variety of techniques to make us closer. The goals of such ventures should be focused upon keeping the relationship fun and interesting, as well as bringing us closer while ensuring that each partner maintain their own personal sense of self. The overall objective, though, is to bring two people into harmony and creating an irrevocable sense of unity that will survive the test of time.
All couples, at some point in their lives, began as two strangers happening upon their mutual love for one another in some way. Many of us met during high school, where we had often been friends before becoming romantically involved. A number of us will reveal that we met the love of our life on a blind date or through a dating service. Still others happened upon one another through coincidence or maybe it was fate. Whatever the means by which we came into this relationship, we started out as individuals coming together.
It is important to preserve our sense of self, even in the closest of couples’ relationships. This can be achieved easily by exploring one another’s interest and committing to doing so throughout our time together. This may require us to compromise at times, but this act in and of itself serves to show our commitment to making our partner happy. Additionally, we may discover things we have in common that we never realized, thus bringing us that much closer.
Also integral are the things we do for one another out of a pure desire to make our partner happy. These types of gestures not only tell our partner how much we love them, but also show that we can act on behalf of our partner in a truly unselfish fashion. Preparing a lovely candlelight dinner after our loved one has worked beyond their usual shift or surprising our lover with a picnic lunch can have positive effects that reach beyond that of our original expectation.
Finally, it is absolutely necessary that we give our partner peace of mind in knowing that our love is unconditional. A number of couples have revealed that their biggest fears about the stability of their relationship lie in the prospect of an expected event. Women often fear how their partner will react if they gain weight or if their outer appearance is compromised. Men regularly feel apprehensive about losing the love of their girlfriend should they become unemployed or be robbed of the ability to care for themselves. As such, we must make it clear to our partner that our love is not based upon the material or superficial, but upon their character, their values and the way they love us.
Here are some traditional and modern ideas on that perfect gift! We’d love to know via the comment section below how you celebrated/plan to celebrate your wedding anniversary….
Year Traditional / Modern
1st Paper / Clocks
2nd Cotton / China
3rd Leather / Crystal, Glass
4th Fruit, Flowers / Electrical Appliances
5th Wood / Silverware
6th Candy, Iron / Wood
7th Wool, Copper / Desk Sets
8th Bronze, Pottery / Linens, Lace
9th Pottery, Willow / Leather
10th Tin, Aluminum / Diamond Jewelry
11th Steel / Fashion Jewelry
12th Silk, Linen / Pearls, Colored Gems
13th Lace / Textiles, Furs
14th Ivory / Gold Jewelry
15th Crystal / Watches
20th China / Platinum
25th Silver / Silver
30th Pearl / Diamond
35th Coral / Jade
40th Ruby / Ruby
45th Sapphire / Sapphire
50th Gold / Gold
55th Emerald / Emerald
60th Diamond / Diamond
75th Diamond / Diamond
The start of a relationship brings with it passion and a fiery desire to spend as much time as possible in the company of your partner! However, as time marches on and your comfort level with your partner increases, it is all too common to lose sight of the romantic spark that is an important part of keeping your relationship together. By following a few simple tips, and by being keenly aware of how your partner feels and will react to your efforts, you can work towards establishing your relationship as one that is certain to last.
– Communication. Without the ability to communicate effectively with your partner, you are doomed as a couple; regardless of how many romantic gestures you offer. One of the most romantic, and loving, things that you can do for your partner is to listen, understand, and offer advice when it is needed. By working on your communication skills in subtle ways, like asking a simple “How was your day?” over dinner, you are opening up your relationship and building on a solid communication foundation. An added bonus is that through effective communication, you will be well aware of what little romantic gestures you can offer to help bring a smile to your partner’s face!
– Date Night. With the domestic routine that we all settle in to when we are comfortable and familiar with our partner, if can be all too easy to forget to spend time together outside of the house! Take the time to arrange a date night with your partner: a movie, dinner, a concert, a sporting event, or even a romance-inspired picnic on a mild summer’s evening. Date night will not only get you out of the house, but it will also encourage you to focus on each other while reminding you of the excitement you felt when you were first dating!
– The Small Things. Romantic gestures do not need to be exclusively limited to the grand sweeping romantic gestures that chick flicks seem to indicate are the only effective manner of being romantic! Instead of composing a ballad and singing it outside of her bedroom window consider the small things that she will appreciate instead. Unloading the dishwasher in the mornings, flipping the laundry without being asked to, warm up her car on chilly winter mornings, or even simply bring her a cup of coffee while she gets ready for work! Small loving gestures are sure to be more memorable for your partner than the grand sweeping gestures are.
– Build Memories. While not every couple has the realistic budget for a trip to Europe, consider a vacation together that will allow you to relax and focus exclusively on each other. Perhaps an extended weekend at a secluded cabin or a budget-friendly trip to an all inclusive resort that will provide you with the time to simply sit and reflect on your relationship and those important aspects of it that have held you together thus far.
By taking the time to work together, as a couple, on the project of building and maintaining your romantic relationship, you are establishing the groundwork for a long-lasting and meaningful life together.
In the early stages of couple hood, many people experience a time of great excitement, overwhelming passion and true bliss. The longer this period lasts, the better. However, there is an inevitable point at which a couple will experience their first disagreement, maybe even an argument. In order to avoid some of the common areas of dissonance in your own relationship, it is a good idea to discuss your expectations for one another prior to actually having a fight. This process can take place informally, or you can actually document your discussion in a sort of “couple’s pact”.
The most common misconception about happy couples is that they never disagree. Even though it is great for both individuals to have similar values, interests and beliefs, they are certainly not clones. Thus, there will be times when differences of opinion do exist. This type of disagreement, in and of itself, is not a problem. It is the manner in which it is handled that can make or break a relationship. As such, your couple’s pact should include a plan for handling such deviations in opinion or thought. Whether you choose to “agree to disagree” or attempt to persuade one another, the important thing is that both of you can utilize this technique to handle situations where you are at odds.
Another fallacy of positive relationships is that the partners want to spend every waking moment with one another. Although many individuals with excellent relationships are involved in activities with their partners, the value of some independence must be recognized. This is a truly important area to discuss, as opinions on this topic vary widely. As a result, your couple’s pact must include what types of activities that you and your partner want to do as individuals and what you want to do as a couple.
Finally, and most notably, couples often fail to recognize that there may be times when they do not feel one-hundred percent certain about their relationship. It is essential to be aware that you may not always view your relationship as perfect and may even consider separating. Again, though, it is how these thoughts and feelings are handled that is important. The couple’s pact should, then, include a strategy for addressing these times, no matter how uncomfortable it may be to admit to your partner.
This “couple’s pact” can serve a variety of purposes in your relationship and can really be anything you and your partner desire. Even if you have been in your relationship for years, creating such a pact may be helpful for your future. This pact will certainly open the lines of communication between you and your partner, as well as serving as a guideline for how you will handle the difficulties that may arise later.