Those of us who are married often reminisce about the early days of our relationships and think of how magical and romantic those times were. Dating, however, can be a frightening and intimidating time for those who are actually involved in it now. It is especially scary for individuals who have been out of the dating scene for a while. They often try to please their date, rather than showing who they really are. They sometimes spend hours “reinventing” their appearance, rather than presenting their true self. Such tactics only work against the ultimate goal of dating and place us right back out there to search for “the one” again. You must look at a date as an opportunity and spend the time wisely in order to achieve success.
If you are planning the date, think about activities that provide the chance to express yourself and show what you find interesting and fun. There is nothing wrong with giving-up the old standard dinner and a movie to go rock climbing or visit the opening of a new art gallery. Consider activities that are stimulating for conversation and provide the time to do so. Whatever you choose, though, be sure to discuss the choice with your date prior to picking them up.
On the other hand, if you are not planning the outing, it is absolutely necessary to know what type of date you will be going on. Answering the door in your gorgeous new evening gown, only to find your date in jeans, can ruin anyone’s night out. As such, it is essential to discuss the date agenda prior to preparing to go out. Also, it is important to be open-minded and adventurous. Even if you have never been exposed to something that is planned, don’t deny your date the opportunity to introduce you to it. This alone can afford both of you with an amazing, bonding experience.
During a date, it is important to encourage discussion. However, even in the case of a soft-spoken person, be certain not to dominate the conversation. By asking open-ended questions and practicing reflective listening, you can stimulate an amazing flow of chatter. It is essential that you give and receive “the basics” of personality, interests and values during your first few dates, without being too probing. This can help you avoid spending months with someone before finding-out that your morals or beliefs are in complete opposition.
These are simple, yet integral, steps in dating successfully. There is immense value in expressing your personality and standards of living early-on in order to feel comfortable giving effort to the relationship. Thinking outside of the box to create a date atmosphere that provides the opportunity for communication and self-expression is imperative. Put simply, one day, these dates will be the foundation for a marriage and you want to be able to look back on them as wonderful experiences that served to bring you and your partner together in body, mind and spirit.